How do you balance a checkbook with a broken heart?

How do you balance a checkbook with a broken heart? You can’t balance a broken heart. It simply won’t stand on its own. It won’t work on its own. The tightest hug can hold it together for a moment, but when the arms release, the crack push wide open again, and the red gooey sludge pushes its way back out, onto the floor, or walls, or doors, or pictures frames, anything that you touch becomes residue. Anxiety sets in. what if it never fixes? What if…

Hope. That sence of possibility. Not having, not getting, but the anticipation of your desire. Sometimes you wake up on the right side of the bed, and you get a nice, light open loving sunshine feeling. What if you could memorize that feeling, and every morning, remind yourself what it felt like, and think about it until you can feel it again? What if you could trick yourself in to feeling healthy, happy, satisfied, and inspired? What if you just simply made believe that these things were true, everyday? Every single day, you start over thinking about anything that is good, and building from there.

It’s December in the tropics, and I bought a coat, but I’m waiting for a day to need it. It’s a stylish jacket, and I really want to wear it, but it’s still just a little to warm.